Set September 2009, two years before the start of the main series of Hillside Academy.
“Hurry up, girls. We’re all meeting at the bottom field so get changed and line up outside with the boys,” Ms Crawley instructed, whistle around her neck and wearing her waterproof jacket and trackie bottoms.
The girls wouldn’t be allowed to wear jogging bottoms since it was still autumn term. It was shorts, skirts and polo t-shirts for them. Their teachers told them that bracing colder temperatures in their youth was ‘character building’. Emily thought it was torture.
What’s worse, today they were being made to do the cross-country run, an annual form of torture inflicted upon every student at Hillside Academy. Instead of Emily’s usual class, where she was grouped with other athletically challenged peers, today all three groups – Mixed, Girls and Boys – were being forced together for this ridiculous ceremony.
Emily loathed cross-country run. It was just another display of how different she was to her classmates and another opportunity for the majority of them to pick on her for her weight. It would be different if she had friends. People to run with or rather walk in Emily’s case. Instead, she would have to endure the three-mile loop through the fields and woods on her own, straggling along behind everyone else, to come in last huffing and sweating to the finish line with her entire year watching. It made her feel sick.
Turning to face her sports kit hanging on the hook behind her, Emily set about the equally painful task of changing out of her uniform and into her shorts and polo shirt in front of the changing room full of girls. Over the years, she’d considered rushing from her previous class to her dorm to change before Sports lessons but the one time she’d tried it, she’d been late and Ms Crawley had given her detention. Emily had been too embarrassed to explain her tardiness and had suffered the black mark on her otherwise pristine school record. Since then, she’d decided that the only way to get changed in this room full of skinny perfect girls was quickly.
With the likes of Anna Clearwater laughing loudly somewhere else in the large changing room, and Freya Davis, Libby Cole and Erin Reid a little further along the bench, Emily kicked off her shoes and yanked down her tights. The key was to have every clothing item laid out ready so once her tights were off, she grabbed her shorts and pulled them up under her kilt. This was the easy part.
Glancing around, always hyperaware someone was waiting ready to mock her for her size, Emily pulled off her tie and shucked off her blazer; hanging both on the hooks by her bags. Keeping her breathing steady while her heart thundered in her chest, Emily reached for her white polo shirt where the crest of HSA had been professionally sewn in on the left breast. Giving another look around, she saw no one was paying her any attention. She took this opportunity to begin unbuttoning her blouse. With sweaty fingers, she clutched the polo to her chest as she removed the blouse from her shoulders.
Unlike a lot of the girls, Emily had remembered to wear her sports bra beneath her blouse that day. She knew the likes of Anna didn’t care who saw her breasts when she discarded whatever fanciful bra she was wearing that day to put on her sports bra, but Emily cared. She would positively die if anyone saw her bare breasts or torso for that matter. No one but her should have to endure the sight of her naked stomach which didn’t lay flat like the other girls; with its deep stretch marks it was disgusting for even Emily to look at, let alone someone else.
Keeping her polo close, Emily hung up her blouse. As she went to pull on her polo in one swift move, ending the torture, she felt someone tug it from her grasp.
“Look at the fat skank,” Samantha Rose hissed, Gwen Ashe and Holly Parkins just behind. “Eww! What the fuck are those?!” she pointed a manicured finger at Emily’s stomach which Emily quickly covered with her blouse.
But it was too late. Already, the girls were sniggering loud enough to silence the entire changing room. Every set of eyes were upon her. Tears burned in Emily’s eyes as she stared back at Samantha, pleading with her to leave her alone. To let her go!
“Oh my god, she’s so fucking disgusting,” Gwen retched.
“Ever heard of Weight Watchers?” Holly sniped.
“You are possibly the fattest person I’ve ever seen,” Samantha snorted maliciously, laughing cruelly with all the rest of the girls as they pointed and ridiculed her.
Clutching her blouse, Emily hurried away from them all; past a laughing Freya and toward the back of the changing room to the communal showers and toilet cubicles. She could still hear their laughter even there, locked in a cubicle crying into her blouse; it echoed on the walls and in her mind.
Eventually, the sound faded but even so, Emily didn’t leave. She stayed sat upon the closed lid of the toilet, sniffling and weeping into her blouse, her bare skin on view for the world. It wasn’t the first time Tammy or one of the other girls had done something this cruel. Just last year, they’d stolen her clothes from the communal showers in the dorm block. Fortunately, Libby Cole had been showering at the same time and Emily had managed to communicate what had happened. In turn, Libby had retrieved new clothes from her dorm. But this wasn’t like last time. No one had seen her then.
Now, everyone had seen those stretchmarks which she was so ashamed of. Now everyone knew just how fat she was.
Fat Emilia Fox.
Fat! Fat! FAT!
“Hey? You okay?”
Emily raised her head from her blouse, wondering if she’d imagined it. Sniffling, she looked around and up to see a pale face peering over the partitioning wall. Emily yanked the blouse up to cover herself, glowering at the somewhat familiar face.
“Leave me alone,” Emily hiccupped.
“Are you okay?”
“What about, leave me alone, don’t you understand?” Emily snapped.
“I’ve never been very good at listening to the rules, sorry,” the girl said, raising her face ever so slightly to reveal the soft smile on her mouth.
Emily recognised her then. It was Erika Waterstone. The new girl in her dorm. They hadn’t shared many words since Erika had arrived on Sunday evening, coming a day later than Emily, Susannah Fields and of course, Anna Clearwater, whom Emily had been stuck dorming with again, much to both their hatreds. But Erika seemed different.
She didn’t speak much, no matter how many times Anna and Susannah tried to converse. Nor was Erika rude. She simply smiled, nodded and listened, her emerald eyes striking and watchful. Emily had been struck by how curious Erika appeared; such black hair and so long, her skin cold and pale like snow and her lips, like blood. She was other-worldly, like a vampire from one of Emily’s books. But kind, even if they hadn’t particularly spoken.
Emily gave another sniffle as Erika disappeared and left her cubicle. For a moment, she thought Erika had listened to her command. Then she noticed her feet beneath the door. Those scuffed Doc Marten boots that Anna had said were ‘goth’ but Erika hadn’t seemed particularly phased. In fact, she didn’t seem bothered about any of the things people had said about her since she’d started Hillside Academy. Not about her crooked yellow-stained teeth or the fact she wore lace arm-warmers beneath her blazer and a pentagram necklace beneath her blouse. No, Erika didn’t appear as though she cared that some girls called her an ‘emo’ or that a lot of boys clearly fancied her for her larger than average breasts and the length of her kilt. Erika didn’t seem to care at all, not for them or for the fact Emily had asked her to leave.
“You gonna let me in?” Erika asked in that thick London accent that Emily had found so enchanting when they’d greeted each other on Sunday. It was endearing and suited Erika’s hard exterior, her eyes older than her fourteen years. Emily wondered what this girl must have seen to wear a face like that.
Uncertain as to why, Emily unlocked the door and came face to face with Erika. In her hand was a lit cigarette.
“You shouldn’t be smoking that in here,” Emily said beneath her breath, looking around wildly for the smoke detectors or teachers. There were none.
They were completely alone and the smoke detector above their head seemingly faulty.
Erika shot her a smirk. At that, she turned on her boot heel and strolled across to the bank of sinks, where she pulled herself up and sucked on the end of her cigarette, smoke trailing across her face. Her eyes never left Emily, who stayed in the open doorway of the cubicle.
“You’re Emily, right?” Erika asked, tapping the ash into the damp basin.
“Emilia, but yeah, Emily,” she cracked a small smile.
No one called her Emily.
That’s not totally true.
Will called her Emily. But Will Bennet was the furthest thing from her mind then as she viewed Erika twiddling with the laces of her boot. Erika turned her head to one side, smoke emitting from her mouth as though she were a dragon. Erika focused on the smoke then, puffing small rings into the stale air of the toilets and shooting Emily another grin.
“My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane and my breath death,” Erika said.
Emily’s eyes widened with recognition. “Smaug.”
“You like Lord of the Rings?”
“It’s my favourite.”
“Mine too,” Erika’s smile grew.
She dropped her boot from the basin and turned to face Emily, stubbing her cigarette out in the sink. It was then Emily noted Erika was also dressed in the HSA sports kit, her royal blue socks pulled up to her thighs and the shorts just visible beneath a great black holey hoodie. Her mass of midnight hair was tied in two plaits hanging down over her chest.
“I don’t mean to sound, erm, pedantic but Ms Crawley won’t let you wear those boots or that hoodie,” Emily said, gesturing to the attire.
“I don’t have any trainers yet,” Erika replied, a shadow passing across her eyes “And besides, I can run just fine in these.” She lifted her legs to click the heel of her boots together. “Also, I don’t mean to sound pedantic either but aren’t you supposed to be wearing a t-shirt? I’m all for being naked and free but it’s freeze-your-tits-off weather out there.” She gave Emily a wide smile.
“Oh.” Emily looked down at her blouse still crushed against her chest and stomach. “Samantha – one of the girls –.”
“Those bitches?” Erika raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Yes, they took my polo.”
Erika gave a humourless scoff and jumped down to the floor. Then, she did something peculiar. She held out her hand.
Emily looked from it to Erika’s grave face.
“Well?” Erika wiggled her fingers. “Come on? Let’s go get your polo and then we can get this form of torture over with.”
Emily hesitated. No one at HSA talked to her like a human being, not even Susannah Fields who only managed weak sympathetic smiles when they were in the dorm. But here was Erika, holding out her hand, not a slither of sympathy or even humour on her face. Emily was dumbstruck but in the end, she took that hand, finding a soft comforting palm and calloused fingertips. Erika shot her another wink before tugging her out of the toilets and into the now empty changing room.
Emily couldn’t remember the last time she held someone’s hand. Possibly it had been her sister, Mary, before she died. Those days when Mary had taken her to the park to play on the swings and see-saw but never on the slides. Emily had always been too frightened to play on the slides; a fear she couldn’t quite explain. For a smart girl, she was terrified of a lot of things, including cross-country run. But that afternoon as she held Erika’s firm hand and walked alongside her in a comfortable silence down the pathway to the back fields, she feared it less.
That irrational fear only returned somewhat as they approached their entire year crowded at the bottom of the backfield, shivering in the sea breeze and waiting for the last stragglers in order to begin. Many turned around as Emily and Erika arrived, giving them various stares. Emily felt heavy beneath them all but when she looked at Erika, she noted her indifferent expression even when Sam Robinson called out to her.
“Hey, Erika! Babe?!” He whistled across to her, a group of his usual friends around him.
Over the summer, he’d tripled in size. Gone was the short chubby boy with a face of acne and a mouth of braces. He was intimidating now as he puffed out his chest and grinned across at Erika rolling her eyes with disinterest. Sam, however, didn’t seem unperturbed and jeered with his friends, the likes of which included Will Bennet and the other new student, Dave Scott.
Emily quickly looked away when she noticed Will smiling over at her, looking even more handsome in his form fitting polo, his large strong legs on display in a pair of gym shorts. Cheeks flushing, Emily shifted uncomfortably, her hand no doubt becoming clammy in Erika’s. Nonetheless, Erika didn’t mention it as she listened to Ms Crawley and Mr Weller explaining the cross-country run and reminding them that there were teachers at every check point to make sure no one cheated.
“He’s cute,” Erika said, keeping her voice low.
“Huh?” Emily stuttered.
“That guy, the tall one with that tool Sam Robinson,” Erika smirked.
“Will? Oh yes, right, erm, yes,” Emily lowered her hot face.
At the same time, their teachers blew the klaxon and the crowd began moving. At the front were the usual athletes, racing away, competing against one another to get the best time; this included Will and Sam Robinson. Meanwhile, Erika and Emily started off on a slow jog until they were within the trees and away from the brash encouragements from their teachers.
Soon the crowd was thinning out and unlike every other year when Emily found herself at the back, she didn’t mind. This time, she wasn’t alone.
“So how long have you been at HSA?” Erika asked, removing a pre-rolled cigarette from her bra along with a lighter.
Emily shivered in the breeze, wrapping her arms across her chest to hide her erect nipples pressing through her thin bra and t-shirt. Glancing discreetly to Erika, she noted that the girl wasn’t wearing a sports bra but a plain black bra instead. She definitely hadn’t come prepared.
“Since First Year,” Emily replied, her legs bright red from the cold making them look like large uncooked sausages.
“That’s year seven, right? I’m still getting used to the system.”
“Where did you got to school before?”
“I didn’t, not really. When I found the time, I guess. But just a standard secondary school in London.”
“Where in London are you from?” Emily asked tentatively. She was concerned she’d overstepped a mark. She didn’t even talk this much to Libby and Erin. She chewed the insides of her cheeks anxiously waiting as Erika took a long draw from her cigarette before replying.
“Islington originally but I moved around a lot, in foster care and that, so I changed schools pretty regularly.”
“I bet you’ve seen it all then,” Emily joked lightly.
Erika giggled. “Pretty much. Tools like Sam Robinson are at every school but they’re pretty harmless. And girls like Samantha Rose? They’re the same everywhere too. Just these bitches have got money and wear pearls instead of hoops. At least with the normal girls, you’re sorta an equal. I swear half the shit the people wear here is worth more than everything I’ve ever owned.”
It was the most Emily had ever heard from Erika but she welcomed it as they walked, past the first checkpoint where Mr Hodges gave them a small cheer and ticked them off the list. They headed out onto the bridleway, the back of the crowd just visible at the road and the next checkpoint waiting for the traffic to clear to continue the next leg of the run. Emily was in no hurry to catch up with them.
“It’s difficult going to a school like this,” Emily agreed “I’ve never known wealth like theirs either. My guardian’s a village vicar.”
“Guardian?” Erika glanced over at her. “You don’t live with your parents?”
“Erm, no,” Emily bowed her head.
“I’m sorry,” Erika said after a while of silence, “I know better than most to ask people about their family.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I don’t live with my parents either.”
“Who do you live with?”
“Erm –,” Erika took a drag of her cigarette “My brother-in-law?”
“And your sister?”
“No, just him and my younger sister. My older sister, his wife, she, erm, well she’s not around anymore.”
Emily swallowed tightly, viewing Erika’s profile. Her face had become hard and her eyes cold as she stared up the bridleway.
“I’m sorry,” Emily murmured “My parents, they died. My older sister too.”
Erika met her gaze with a soft smile. One without sympathy but with understanding. In that moment, Emily realised that she wasn’t the only one of them who’d known grief.
“So where do you come from?” Erika asked briskly, wanting as much as Emily to change the subject.
“Norfolk, this tiny place called North Creake. I lived there my entire life until my guardian, Rupert, sent me here three years ago. Now, it feels more like a distant memory.”
“I know what you mean,” Erika nodded “Somehow it feels like everything that happened before last Sunday just doesn’t exist anymore now I’m here. Maybe HSA is magical,” she laughed half-heartedly.
“Mary Stone was hanged a witch,” Emily said with a cringe, suddenly embarrassed. She often forgot how other people weren’t as interested in boring facts such as the history of the school.
“Really?” Erika’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “The founder?”
“Yep. HSA was a girls’ school originally but the establishment hated Mary and everything she stood for, so they had her tried a witch during King James I’s reign.”
“The Mad King,” Erika giggled “Like King Aerys Targaryen.”
“You know Game of Thrones?!” Emily exclaimed with excitement and shock.
“’Course. Used to steal copies from the market,” Erika smirked, seemingly even more amused by Emily’s shock at the mention of her crimes. “We didn’t have much money and books always seemed like one of those things you could never truly steal. Besides, I always scrounged up a couple of quid whenever I could.”
Emily blinked with disbelief at the idea of someone stealing so flippantly, but also to meet someone else who knew of Game of Thrones. Sometimes, she felt like the only person in the world who’d heard of George R R Martin.
“Anyway –,” Erika cleared her throat and flicked away her cigarette before they reached the next check point. “– so you like that Will guy?”
“Erika,” Emily blushed, lowering her voice as they passed Mr Carter giving them a strict eye.
“Come on, girls. I don’t wanna be out here all bloody afternoon,” he growled, frightening Emily. Once again, Erika looked indifferent as they waited for the cars to pass and headed across the road to continue up the bridle way toward Honeybee Forest.
The cross-country run cut across the meadow of the forest before looping back around to the road and up School Hill. It was a long slog but Emily was glad she had someone to share it with this time.
“So, come on,” Erika said, nudging her playfully. “Tell me about him.”
“There’s not much to tell. He’s William Bennet. All the girls like him.”
“I get why. He’s fit,” Erika grinned, receiving a playful elbow from Emily this time. Both girls giggled as they walked.
“What about Sam Robinson? I saw the way he was looking at you?” Emily dared to ask.
“He’s alright. Not really my type though.”
“What is your type?” Emily questioned. She wasn’t sure she had a type.
Will. He’s my type. Cute, shy and intelligent.
And completely inaccessible.
Emily blew through her teeth glumly.
“I dunno, bad I guess,” Erika winked “My ex-boyfriends have all been such arseholes. I’m kinda taking a break from all of that. And Sam Robinson? He’s hot, but too pretty.”
“You should’ve seen him six months ago,” Emily said without thinking.
Erika shot her a grin. “Oh yeah?”
“No, I shouldn’t –.”
Erika looped her arm through Emily’s. “Oh but you should. Spill it.”
“Okay…well, you wouldn’t believe it but he had –.”
Forty five minutes later, Emily and Erika climbed the stile over the fence to the left of School Hill road and headed down the slope toward the backfield where the rest of their year was either sat around waiting or just crossing the finish line. Erika flicked away another cigarette and keeping her arm looped through Emily’s, the girls chatted happily as they walked.
Nevertheless, the closer they drew to the crowd, the more self-conscious Emily became, her insecurities rushing back to her. For the past hour, she’d managed to forget about the fact that she was the fattest girl in school and the whole incident in the changing room entirely. Now, as they drew closer and she caught sight of Samantha and the rest of her friends sniggering to themselves, Emily wanted to run as far away as possible. But Erika’s arm looped through hers kept her rooted as they approached the finish line and came face to face with an unimpressed Ms Crawley.
“Last. Both of you. I expected better.” She clicked her stopwatch and jotted down their time. “Especially from you, Emilia.”
Emily hung her head as the lecture Ms Crawley always gave her at the end of the cross-country run began. The one lecturing her about her weight and the need to exercise and live healthier. The lecture that would be heard in front of all her peers. In front of Will.
Her cheeks darkened with shame as she mentally prepared herself.
“Don’t you want to lose weight? Be like the other girls? Is this the size you want to be at fourteen? You have to try. The weight won’t lose itself. If you don’t, before you know it, your BMI will be off the charts and –.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Erika spluttered, silencing Ms Crawley and everyone else around them. Their entire year fell silent, not even a mutter or snicker as Erika scowled up at their teacher, who looked, for the first time ever, flabbergasted. “Like, are you for real? You’re not allowed to say that to her.”
“Excuse me!?” Ms Crawley choked, grasping her stopwatch and whistle. “I’m not sure how it worked at your old school, Miss Waterstone but here at HSA, we don’t condone swearing, especially not at a member of staff.”
“Yet you condone the shaming of one of your students in front of her entire class? You see how wrong that is, right? Or are you blind?” Erika scoffed, squaring her shoulders with defiance.
Emily couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. No one spoke to the teachers at HSA this way, and as she looked around, she realised that no one was paying Emily any attention. They were all stood shell-shocked and watching as Erika and Ms Crawley came face to face.
“Ms Oldbridge’s office, now!” Ms Crawley hollered, raising her whistle to her lips.
“For what? For making sure you don’t bully someone for their weight? For calling you out for shaming a fourteen year old? Yeah, alright, I’ll go to Ms Oldbridge’s office and I’ll tell her all about you.” Erika stepped closer, a foreign expression on her face that made her features sharper, harder.
Emily held her breath, unable to fathom what would happen next.
“I’ll tell her all about your fixation on your female students’ bodies.”
Ms Crawley blew violently on her whistle, her eyes wide and furious as she pointed a finger to the direction of the school as the crowd around them chuckled under their breaths.
“Go! Now! Get out of my sight!” Ms Crawley stuttered, smoke practically pouring from her ears, her face bright red as Erika stepped back and grinned triumphantly.
“Sure? Sure you don’t wanna a little bit longer?” Erika gestured down at herself, shaking her hips almost mockingly as Ms Crawley blew her whistle again and the crowd laughed harder.
Even Emily cracked a smile behind her hand as Mr Carter appeared to escort Erika away. She watched as Erika stomped off in those scuffed muddy Doc Marten boots, shrugging away Mr Carter’s hand and pulling her hoodie around her.
Emily smiled to herself, touched by this girl’s actions. She couldn’t have ever predicted that kind of fire from a girl so quiet. It was both intimidating and awe-inspiring. She could only ever hope to be as defiant and confident as Erika Waterstone.
Hillside Academy Copyright © 2019 Jodie May Mullen