All around the world women are wearing bras. Not only is it socially expected and a fashion statement, for some of us it’s a necessity. However, these hammocks for our assets are sometimes a pain in the tit. So I’ve narrowed the problems into a short list:
1. Underwire
Unless you don’t wear this type, you will understand why this goes at number One on my list. Although supportive and the majority of the time comfortable, underwired bras have a tendency to break. Now, I don’t mean snap – though it’s happened – I mean push out of their material and straight into your skin. Sadly, for us girls, there are only two places it pops out; into your armpit or into your cleavage, digging into your skin all day sometimes causing nasty scars, sores and even bleeding. Solution? Don’t wear underwire. As that’s not an option for me and a lot of other women, we have to splash our cash out on a new one. This brings me to my next point…
2. Expensive
I don’t know about the rest of the world but when it comes to buying bras in Britain when you’re ‘well-endowed’ has to be the hardest and the most costly of any clothing item. Since La Senza went bust and had to switch their sizes to Canadian, they ended up losing the majority of their customers because of their size range stopping at a DD. DD? Are you having a bubble? That’s half of my cup size.
And so while girls with smaller breasts can carry on shopping there and other stores such as New Look who do a reasonably large lingerie section, us larger bosomed ladies are left to hunt through Ann Summers and online stores, looking for cheap bras – which is impossible. Ann Summers, although do day-bras, tend to, as you can expect, do much sexier lingerie which costs a bomb. The only thing about spending that much money is you can usually guarantee a good bra. Other stores such a Boux Avenue which are just as expensive, claim to have sizes up to H’s. Being a G myself I’ve searched in the high heavens of those sizes and have come to find nothing of the sort besides from ugly white and black sports bras. So not only can bras be expensive, if you have a bigger bust than a DD, you’ve got a lot of rummaging and searching to do.
3. Flimsy Straps
This has got to be one of the most irritating things for me, in any bra. From sexy to sloggy, I need good straps. No matter how good the cups are, if the straps are the width of a toothpick, your breasts are going to be travelling south, causing severe back/neck ache to bigger busted women. Usually, you can rely on thin straps to twist too making the job of wearing a bra for 18 hours (minimum) a day become like fighting a losing battle. Whenever I buy a bra, there are a few things I look at first, one being the straps. They have to be thick and not elasticated.
The moment where you’ve just adjusted the straps, then put it on and as you run your fingers underneath to get it comfortable, the clip slips up and ruins the length completely. I’ve spent many mornings shouting and storming around my house at my bras. Get a bra with good straps.
4. Post Bath/Shower + Bra = Hell
I can’t be the only one that dreads putting my bra on after a shower or bath. Usually, I put my most unattractive, oldest bra on after baths for this very reason but when you need to go out afterwards, you can’t do such a thing.
Although your skin’s dry and you may have moisturised, your bra may insist on being uber difficult. If you’re like me, I put my bra on backwards, do it up, then twist it around and slip my arms in. Well, you might just understand my anger towards doing this after baths and showers. The only way I can describe to others is “it’s like pulling at a really stubborn cow”. You find yourself growling and making noises like some sort of beats as you tug the material around to the front on your half wet, half dry skin. Solution? Moisturise like a bitch until you’re slippery like a fish then it should slip around easier. Or, if you don’t like moisturiser, use any talcum powder – but make sure you dry your skin first or you’ll end up with nasty clumps of it all over your skin – that’s nasty.
5. Plunge Bras
This is more of a personal hate as a lot of women like this type as it gives them a great cleavage. What does it give me? Nip slips and my breasts poking out in all different directions. Balconette bras all the way.
6. Sports Bras
Now, they come in handy for any sports activity for big breasted women – especially running, unless you like black eyes. However, they are the most confining bra of all. My breasts must feel like they’re being punished every time I trap them within the stretchy supportive material. When I take it off at night, it feels like I’m releasing animals from captivity. Sports bras should be used for short periods of time only so your breasts don’t get too depressed or light depraved.
And so, those are my top 6 things about bras that really ‘grind my gears’. However, there many good reasons why we wear them and little uses us women have come up with throughout the years. One of them being, bras are great extra pockets. From phones to spare change, they’re helpful and in reach. I’ll tell you what, I love finding money in my bra when I take it off at night.
Thank you bras! We have a hate/love relationship, but I still love you.
If you have any bra pet peeves you’d like to add to this list, Tweet me @jodimay15 with the #brahates.