What are five facts about you?
- I’m a Geordie – didn’t you notice?
- I’ve got a massive cock
- *Smirks*
- My daddy fucking hates me
- I wanna eat my girlfriend so she never leaves me. Her pussy that is, I’m not Jeffrey Dahmer, boy.
- Smirking didn’t count as a fact? I figured *smirks* was enough? Alright – I was supposed to be aborted.
Where did you grow up?
The Toon – aka, Newcastle. Jesmond, to be precise. The posh end. Big house, too many rooms, my mam always redecorating to make up for the fact her husband was an abusive wanker thug. Great big house, completely void of emotion. Nah, when I think about where I really grew up, I think about my grandparents’ house in Northumberland just on the border of Scotland. That house was big but it was full of love. It was warm, it was kind – it was safe. Safe from my dick of a dad. Until it wasn’t. In fact, fuck it, I didn’t grow up until I came to HSA so forget the rest of that.
Who are the special people in your life?
Erika, my girlfriend. Is that a git thing to say first? I should say my bro, Dominic or Sticks or Will, right? They’re special too. So’s Anna, my best friend. She’s a bitch but she grounds me. Then there’s Erika. She’s wild. I’m obsessed. I should say my mam, too, right? But cba. I ain’t special to her. She’s got four more. Why do I matter?
Would you rather…cheat on Erika or cut off your own penis?
I’m hurt you would even suggest I’d dare cut off my most prized possession. Erika’s great but I love my cock more.
Desert Island: Three Items
- Endless supply of weed
- Endless supply of whisky
- A lighter that never empties – and maybe some papers.
What’s something you wish you were better at?
I’m perfect the way I am, ain’t I? *smirks*. Alright – rugby? Nah, that wasn’t believable. Sex? *smirks* nah I’m already great at that. Relationships? Yeah…I could be better for Erika. Better at controlling my temper. Not drink so much. Stop starting fights. I guess. But where’s the fun in that?
What’s something you’re proud of?
That I’m nothing like my dad and I never will be. I’d rather die than be like that scumbag.
What’s something you’re ashamed of?
…really? You’re gonna ask me that? Here? Fucking hell. I dunno, lots of shit. I’m ashamed of the fact I’m related to Benjamin Robinson – my dad. There’s one. I’m ashamed of my mam. I’m ashamed of my shitty brothers. Of my shitty family. Of my shitty behaviour…I’m ashamed of a lot things. Best not to dwell, though.
What are you looking forward to right now?
Getting pissed. What else? Start of Term Rave is just days away and I’m gonna eat, sleep, rave, repeat until I die, motherfuckers.
Pick 3 Dinner Guests, dead or alive
Cleopatra cos she seemed like she could party as hard as me. Um, who else? Holly Valance, obvs. She’s gorgeous. And…er…ah man, I sound like a pussy but probably my granddad, Hector. Fuck’s sake. Hate this interview.
What brought you to Hillside Academy?
Car service.
Pfft, that answer was fine.
Alright! Fine – my mam’s an alum of this great institute. All my brothers went here too so guess what, I got the opportunity to come here too! Lucky me! Lucky Mam. She doesn’t have to be a real mother, ever. Just ship her kids off to boarding school. Bon voyage, fuckers!
Favourite Word?
Cunt. Soz if that offends anyone. If it does, probably the wrong story for you…
Learn more about Sam Robinson by heading over to his very own wiki. Just click the image below and follow the link!
(All Hillside Academy characters, names, places, school history and origins are subject to copyright – Hillside Academy ‘Universe’ Copyright © 2008 Jodie May Mullen)
Header Image: Jodi May
Gallery Images: Ownership remains with the original artist.